’m slow this morning because we had friends over last night. Doesn’t happen often. Had a great time. Also was a reminder of why I don’t do this often. Throws my shit off balance.
Here’s why. Dinner goes longer. Instead of quitting after dinner, it turns into come back to our place, which turns into having another drink, which turns into 11p (not exactly “late” but for me it is...), which turns into texting my workout partner that I now can’t make 9a track workout, which turns into a shitty night sleep because I don’t usually drink and get off my routine. So, I wake up late, with a headache, not wanting to sit at the computer and write...Fuck! Now I'm thrown off my game mentally and physically. The kids are awake...it’s 9:55 instead of 6:55...Chances of morning sex...Zero. BUT I need this every once in a while. A little reminder of why I don’t like to do this, why I prefer day over night. Sober instead of drinking. Waking up with energy and clarity as opposed to reaching for the Advil and a blanket.
I have a confession to make. I have an imaginary friend named Carlos. He's actually not 100% imaginary, there really is a Carlos. He exists. However I don't really know him all that well and in my mind I've probably blown him up to be way more perfect than he actually is but to me, this guy just "gets it" so I now use my created version of Carlos as a guide.
Carlos wouldn't have had that last drink last night. Carlos has the self control to say no.
Carlos would not have skipped the morning track workout.
Carlos doesn't care about your watch, car or house.
Carlos would never apologize by text; he'd look you in the eye...
So as "things" happen...I ask myself "What would Carlos do?"....
To an extent, we're all put into categories.
We all have a "Carlos", that guy who just seems to move thru life with grace.
We also have that friend that our wives don’t like; you know...he's the first guy you call when you get a free night and wanna blow off some steam
That guy you workout with but really don't see very much outside the gym
The long distance friend who always takes your side because he's not around all the time to see or hear anyone else's side of the story
That person who only calls you so that they can talk about themselves for 20 minutes, never asks a single thing about you or your family and then invariably as soon as you get a chance to talk they "Have to jump, just got another call"...
The individual who pretends to ask and care about your opinion only to make the exact opposite decision time and again.
Especially now at our age. Lot's of "Carlos" decisions and choices...Career, marriage, faith, family, finances, health...
Back to the friends that were over. I'd asked my friend what he likes to drink - bourbon. I don’t drink bourbon. When I drink, it’s tequila...Am I gonna serve him tequila? No, he doesn’t want that. Am I going to try and convince him that tequila is better? No. I’m simply going to buy the best bottle of bourbon I can and serve it to him. I will drink my tequila. We’re both happy. We both “got what we wanted”. This seems very simple, right?
Why does it matter so much in other areas that we not only get what we want but that we also want you to want what we want? Why do we spend extra time and energy trying to “win someone over” or get them to see it our way?
Carlos would not waste his time trying to convince you of anything. He would just live his life, lead by example and be true to himself.
So now, because I've missed my morning workout, epsom salt bath, stretch appointment...I'm just gonna man the fuck up (because that's what Carlos would do...And my wife's "asking" me to do) and go clean out the garage for the next three hours....