The things I want to write about are often the most difficult because in order to produce meaningful content you’ve got to take a good hard look in the mirror and sometimes as the great Bill Murray said “You don’t always like what you see”. There’s worry that if you “Confess” to things, question things or do not appear “perfect” or open up to personal fears, insecurities, mistakes and errors in judgement that we all invariably make that it can adversely affect relationships, business, trust and other people’s perceptions of you.
And we all want to appear perfect, right?
Present ourselves as if we’ve got it all figured out and never living less than our best life or doing anything wrong.
It’s too easy to write a bunch of motivational and inspirational quotes and pick me ups, I can already read dozens of them in my feed each morning…So many in fact that I’ve recently started deleting and unfollowing them simply because they don’t mean anything, they’re not speaking to me. Gary Vee posted recently “Reading about doing push-ups is not the same as doing push-ups”…I’m looking for the guts, the why, the how, the depth, the pain, conflict and struggle that we all deal with. The acknowledgment of poor decisions, the meaningful apology, the growth that accompanies starting to make better life choices and decisions and the weight that gets lifted when you stop posing and just start living.
“Daring to think that the rules do not apply is the mark of a visionary. It’s also a symptom of narcissism.”
I will not be competing in the D10 Decathlon on Sunday. I didn’t comply with the rules and am therefore ineligible to take part.
Does it matter what rule it is? No.
Will I make an excuse? No.
The D10 has a minimum fundraising commitment in order to compete and I didn’t reach it. There it is. Period.
I am extremely proud to be a part of this organization and no time more than at this very moment for them adhering to their guidelines, upholding their standards and not making any concessions.
The whole point is to be balanced, accountable, vulnerable, strong, lead by example…I’d be a hypocrite to allow the rules to be bent for me, or to think that I deserved the rules to be bent for me or that any of my past actions should warrant any lenience or bending of the rules in my favor.
Just because I’ve raised money or helped out in the past has no bearing on the present or future. Just because I’ve volunteered my time, made connections, competed, added value in ancillary areas doesn’t matter (and more importantly shouldn’t matter). I don’t get to take the field myself if I haven’t met the minimum requirements. The notion that you should give without expectation of receipt of anything in return (much less special treatment) is paramount. That one thing has nothing to do with the other. As my 12 year son even told me “It wouldn’t be fair”…
“We have been bombarded with examples of powerful people acting like the rules don't apply to them. From governors to corporate executives to athletes–there seems to be a new example of poor judgment every week. Is there an upward trend in moral hypocrisy among powerful people?
Supported by new research by Galinsky, et al., it is increasingly clear that many individuals in positions of power live as though the rules don't apply to them. The rules do apply to us all. The rule of reciprocity is a powerful tool and there are clear rules of social engagement that monitor its effectiveness. It applies to all of us in every aspect of our lives: marriage, friendship, politics, business, athletics….life.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. - Philippians 2:3, 4
It’s amazing to think the “big ugly” sins we think we would never be capable of committing begin with a subtle mindset that the rules don’t apply to me. This situation will help me address a natural tendency that I have to push the rules, to think I’m special.” - Excerpted and adapted from “The Rules Don’t Apply To Me” – Wholehearted Men
This will enable me to beat back the belief that somehow I’m above the rules.
Do you think the rules don’t apply to you? Ask yourself where you think you’re above the rules, then deal with it. That mindset is the root of many issues.
I looked up how to make an apology/admit wrongdoing/acknowledge an issue and here’s what I found:
Acknowledge what you did wrong.
Take responsibility for your actions.
Acknowledge the impact your actions had on others.
Apologize for having caused pain or done damage.
Repair the damage (offer money or a concession) or state your future intentions.
Do not make excuses.
A humble demeanor and appropriate nonverbal communication must match the spoken message.
Tomorrow morning instead of competing, I will be volunteering at The D10.
I will help the D10 team produce the very best event they possibly can.
I will help every athlete to perform at their highest level.
I will also be making a donation to the NYC event (So that it will not count towards my Houston efforts) and I will set my sights on Houston in November.