The dictionary definition of Karma is: The sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.
The more informal Laws of Karma say that those who hurt you will eventually screw up themselves and if you are lucky God will let you watch.
Do you believe in Karma?
But what if you and I are in conflict, we both feel wronged, misled, angry and we both believe in Karma? Who's Karma wins out?
Or is believing in Karma just one of those things that makes you feel better and justify your position when you feel like you can't change any other aspect or outcome of the situation? Oh, don't worry...Karma will get him...
Do we hold others to a higher standard than ourselves? Should it be the other way around? How do we find people whose standards meet our own? Does placing too high a standard or trust in others lead us to even greater disappointments?
You can waste a lot of time and bandwidth trying to please the un-pleasable, worrying about what others think, trying to explain your point of view to someone who's mind is already made up or you can simply move on, maintain a growth mindset, focus on action over anxiety, learn from each experience, sweat it out and live to fight another day.
You are what you repeatedly do. If you're doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, then maybe the problem is you or your system? Maybe something's wrong with your process or personnel. If I’m constantly hurting my hamstring, then something's wrong with my training...If I'm consistently having the same problem at work then the issue's on me to rectify it. However, if it's never happened before and it's an "outlier", then perhaps the issue is elsewhere and not devote much time/attention to it.
So when shit hits the fan here are some things I do and try to think about: (in no particular order and certainly not all of them or there would be no time for anything else...)
Remember that gratitude always reciprocates
Call my coach - vent and talk it thru
Keep a list of positive goal items on my desk, phone, iPad and remind myself
Pay a bill
Send a thank you or gift to someone
Record a podcast and learn something
Call on a new prospect
Reconnect with an existing client
Pick the boys up from school and go for ice cream
Call a friend and catch up on life
Write down what I really want to say to the person I'm in conflict with and then file it away without sending
Place action over anxiety
Remember that confidence is not that I hope that they like me. It’s that I’m OK if they don’t. What others think of me is their choice/perception. What I think of me is what matters.
Find a way to maintain positivity and grace despite the shots people take at you. Have compassion. Everyone is dealing with their own issues.
All things are difficult, until they’re easy...We're great at creating conflict. Awful at conflict resolution. There's the rub...I love that scene in Jerry McGuire when Rod says "You think we’re fighting, I think we’re finally getting along." You’ve got to be willing to work thru the hard times, conversations, arguments to get to the good, the deeper, the easier.
Is it spin because you don’t agree with it? How can two, three or more people be in the same place, same time, hearing and seeing and reading the same things yet have such different recollections, perceptions and interpretations? Because there is no one set standard. It’s not like weightlifting - the bar either did or did not cross the line...
Control what you can control - if you can’t control it, don’t say it. If it’s out of your control don’t commit to it. If it’s contingent on anything other than yourself then stipulate that, articulate that and document it otherwise “selective memory”, denial and blame will come back to bite you in the ass. Lessons learned.
There’s a significant difference between mutual accountability and accountability. Aren't we all somewhat responsible? However, people see what they want to see, hear what they want to hear because mostly it's not about accepting responsibility or accountability it’s about something else. Something we want and are not getting so it must be someone's fault. There has to be someone to blame. Because it's easier to look outward then it is to look within. Self awareness is really hard. Transparency is a unique trait. Actually practicing what you preach instead of "Not in my backyard". So we tend to choose the side that makes us feel best about ourselves. That best justifies our position and let Karma take care of the rest...