Can You Make The Ask

Updated: Nov 17, 2019

Last week I went to the eye doctor. It’s been almost 17 years since I had Lasik surgery And I’m finally seeing a slight deterioration in my vision. Kate actually gave me “The gift of sight” for my 30th birthday. It was either that or a watch and while I question a lot of my decisions, this was one where I was certain I made the right choice.

At the optometrist they do this little test where they flip around the lenses and say ”Better One or Two” and they keep doing this over and over one eye at a time until they get your prescription right. Then at the end they reveal both eyes and you read the letters back in full clarity.

It got me thinking that this process is a lot like life; business, family, fitness, finance and pretty much relatable to everything and that we try, fail, succeed, do, try again, fail, succeed, try again and ultimately we navigate our way thru until we gain focus and clarity. For some of us, this comes as quickly as the eye exam, for others it takes years and some may not ever get "there".

I didn’t join Insgroup until I was 37. I didn’t become an athlete until 40. I didn’t start my podcast until I was 45. In my 20’s I was a mess and at 46 I know that my life is still just beginning.

I’ve been flipping lenses for 20+ years; “Better ONE or TWO”, figuring it out as I go and I just may finally have the right prescription.

I prefer mornings and daytime to nighttime.

I feel better not drinking than drinking.

I like watching movies, not producing them.

I'm having more fun working out at different places than when I owned a gym.

I‘m a better agent for others than I am for myself.

I prefer staying in to going out.

Reading magazines and articles over books.

Insuring companies not starting them.

Being a partner not the owner.

Doing over watching.

Producing content versus consuming it.

I‘m passionate about entrepreneurs, fitness, food, products and lifestyle and with Insgroup I get to engage in each of those areas every day. With the podcast, I started to interview extraordinary men so I could learn and be inspired. Needless to say, the process has helped me to grow, figure out who I am, what I enjoy, define my purpose, gain confidence, make friends and develop new relationships.

This next challenge and phase of my life as we approach 2020 is how can I continue to move forward and take my business and personal brand to the next level. If you follow Dave Meltzer he proposes to ask two simple questions to at least one new person everyday:

1. How may I serve you?

2. Do you know anybody that can help me?

Everything is based on your network, relationships, referrals and connections so these seem like valuable, straightforward questions.

So why is it so hard to make the “ask”?

Or should I say, why is hard to make the ask for some things and not others?

I find it easy to ask guy’s to come on the podcast but hard to ask them for their business?

I find it hard to ask for things for myself but easy to advocate for my clients and friends?

I find it easy to ask guys to meet me for a workout/breakfast but hard to ask for an office meeting?

Is it where we feel most comfortable? What environments give us confidence? Which situations feel most authentic?

What do struggle with asking?

I don’t have all the answers however I do know that I’ve flipped the lenses a lot in these areas and when I feel comfortable, am in an environment that energizes me and in situations where I’m surrounded by like-minded people with similar interests and passions, I do well. When I step outside this, I don’t.

It’s a constant process to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

So I will push myself to ask someone everyday:

1. How may I serve you?

2. Do you know anybody that can help me? And don’t be surprised if you get a call from me with a couple of questions;)


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