The other day I posted a video from my band rehearsal...That evening I got a message from a guy saying "What don't you do?"...
The truth is A LOT.
I don't do A LOT.
I used to do A LOT more...It's taken me A LOT of time to cut back, streamline, figure out what's important, who's important, where I want to commit time, who I want to spend time with, what do I truly enjoy doing and more importantly what I don't.
Last week I wrote about doing less with more focus. That's at the core of everything. That's where the authenticity really comes into play. That's where true success and fulfillment really comes from.
Why would I stop playing guitar and playing in band? I love it.
Why would I stop exercising? It feels great.
Why would I stop podcasting? It's unbelievably enlightening.
Why would I stop blogging? It's therapeutic.
Why would I stop being in the insurance business? It's an amazing career.
Why would I stop spending every moment I can with my family? They're the best part of my life.
Jay Shetty recently wrote "Find 3 hobbies. One to make you money, one to keep you in shape and one to keep you creative." He nailed it. That's really it. Now go back and look at the list above...With the exception of Family, which always comes first...I'm doing my best to stick to that mantra.
"Creating your rules for living and sticking to them will guide you to a life of wisdom and success" (Craig Ballantyne).
Now here's the tricky part...NOT doing certain things so that I can afford to do the things that I do do... (does that sound right?)
I don't stay out late
I don't really* drink anymore...
I don't sleep in
I don't play golf
I don't take 4 hour bike rides or jogs
I don't live in my office
I don't go to parties or events that I don't want to
I don't watch a lot of TV, movies or even sports
I don't watch or read much news
I don't talk or give my time to people or business that I don't want to
This is really fucking hard.
Particularly at first because a lot of the above involved major fundamental changes to my lifestyle and decision making process. But it comes down to discipline, strength, willingness to change and beginning to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Fighting the fear of missing out. Being labeled a quitter. Losing some friends. Pissing some people off...
But...play the long game. Sustainability, longevity, authenticity, vulnerability, security, contentment...And gradually the changes, the alterations, the commitment results in feeling better, acting better, becoming more secure and comfortable in your own skin, reducing/losing the FOMO, upgrading from those who weren't adding to your life or appreciating your value to surrounding yourself with more like minded and positive relationships.
You really free up a lot of time when you don't do a lot of things. When you start saying no or just simply stop showing up to the stuff you don't need to be involved with.
Some of the steps I've taken that have helped me get to this place are:
Replace dinners and drinks with workouts and breakfasts
Replace people, clients who require dinners and drinks with people who prefer workouts and breakfasts (For some this may not be as realistic BUT strive to create more balance overall)
I don't drink when I go out. I allow myself to have a drink or two at home. I have much greater self control this way and cutting out alcohol altogether was not something I've been able to do
Set boundaries and expectations - When I do need to go out to something in the evenings, I put it out there upfront what time I must leave because I have a workout or meeting in the morning.
We cut out our cable and went to apple TV (Netflix, amazon prime) so we don't have the mindless channel surfing going on we used to (also saved over $200 a month!)
Picked 2-3 boards, events, leagues, organizations that I want to be part of and say NO to everything else. Most important here is that when people ask for you to be part of something or give your time and/or money you must say "I am committed to this, this and this currently, so please check back with me next year when I re-evaluate".
Put everything on the calendar! workouts, meetings, podcast recordings, kids practices/games, band practices...Then it becomes easier to see where you're overloaded, over committed or have time to do that thing you really want to do. If it's not on my calendar, it doesn't exist...
Stop looking at what everyone else is doing. Really, just don't look....IG, FB...You're not going to keep up with multiple lives or the posts...Be the content producer, not the consumer. If you're really into it, find a few that motivate and inspire you to be better.
You can DO this. You can DO more or less. It's up to YOU.