As I’m leaving the gym yesterday with my son a guy i know goes “hey, how’s the midlife crisis”? And it got me thinking; first, thanks for reading my stuff, hope it’s helpful and second...Why aren’t guys more supportive of one another?
Do we feel better if we’re in a better place (or perceive ourselves to be in a better place) than someone else? Are we in competition as men or on the same team?
I know this guy didn’t mean anything by the comment and I’m guilty of the same judgmental behavior in the past; but what is it about guys and trying to “one up” one another? What is it about feeling the need to “compare” to be “better”, right” or to “win”?
I’ve been making a conscious effort not to judge, make assumptions, comparisons and follow The Four Agreements (great book. Highly recommend) and it’s made a positive impact.
As someone who’s ultra competitive, this does not come easily. But I’ve begun to realize that all the machismo, posing, talking and posturing is just a load of time consuming, mentally draining bullshit. When you win enough battles and realize that you’re still losing the war, it’s time to change the approach. When you’re getting closure but not the results you want, make an adjustment.
I’m reclaiming my time and clarity so I can focus on doing the things I like to do with the people i like doing them with and with those who like being around me. It really is that simple. Say yes to the things you want to do, no to the things you don’t and focus on your goals. No more, no less.
The real opportunity is in applying all thats been learned thus far and using the maturity, vulnerability, strength and experiences acquired thru midlife to “not be in a crisis” in the first place and to live better, smarter and happier in the second phase of life than the first.