Updated: Oct 5, 2019
Good lord...I bitch for one week...ONE week in 76 posts and it’s like opening the flood gates to a “Misery loves company” parade.
Thanks for all the DM's, texts, emails and even a few phone calls but seriously guys...Enough.
I for one am not unhappy.
I may struggle with anxiety, depression, body image, temper and balance issues, but ironically I'm actually quite happy overall.
And while I don't believe that money buys happiness, I really don't have any problems that another 500k a year couldn't solve so if you need any insurance, a podcast to sponsor or you just have money burning a hole in your pocket, let's talk...I'm all ears for those kinds of reach outs.
When I think about the conversations and communications from last week I gather that most of you aren't really unhappy either...I get that life is not all rainbows and unicorns but let’s get real for a second; life is good.
There will always be the proverbial bullshit that we have to contend with however, by being self aware and in control we can both design and implement a life that is fulfilling, rewarding, loving and that ultimately makes us happy.
I’d even argue in particular that middle age is and should be the best time of your life.
"Happiness isn’t so much a feeling of peace, but a state of fulfillment, meaning, or abundance ." (I cannot recall where I found that quote so if anyone knows, lmk...)
Certainly this is true of the portrait of middle age emerging from a 10-year study of nearly 8,000 Americans by the MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Successful Midlife Development.
Far from being a time of turmoil, for most people the midlife years appear to be a time of psychic equanimity, good health, productive activity and community involvement.
Between 40 and 60, people report increased feelings of well-being and a greater sense of control over many parts of their lives. Not totally sure what all that means but it sounds pretty good, seems like a reputable study and The NY Times published it so...Good enough for me.
A majority of the participants in the MacArthur study said they felt better about their lives than they did 10 years before.
Finances and sexual activity were the areas over which people in the study felt they had least control. Men in the study felt more in control of their marriages than women, while women felt more in control of their sex lives.
No shit Sherlock...
(That's not actually in the study, I just added the "No shit Sherlock" because any guy that's married doesn't need a fucking study to tell him who's more in control of their sex lives; them or their wives...The study could have been all of two lines Q: "What makes men happy?" A: "Feed us and Fuck us"...End of study)
Though the notion that most people undergo a ''Midlife crisis'' persists in the public mind, the study confirms the finding of earlier research that midlife upheaval is the exception rather than the rule:
But "Why" is Middle Age the best phase? (These are really in no particular order. I'm coming off a really tough workout, ice/heat session, 2 tequilas, a linguine vongole, some cbd and a melatonin...)
Here are 20 reasons why:
Kids - Amazing kids. I won't tear jerk you with my feelings here but I sincerely hope that everyone feels the way I do about my boys and gets as much joy out of being a dad as I do.
Experience - I never really stuck with anything earlier in life, had chip on my shoulder, didn’t really have an identity, mentor and chased stuff that ultimately wasn’t of interest or importance or I just plain fucked it up and had regret - as I age things have gotten simpler and clearer.
Less fucks given - not ZERO, but fewer. Family, few friends, solid face to face conversations, good health, good career, good food, a few trips a year...
In 7 years we’ll be empty nesters...This is the best time. I don't want to miss anything!
Better sex/consistent sex. It's right there lying next to you. Be nice, initiate, date your wife and you'll get more than most.
I have no fear of missing out (FOMO)
Fewer friends, better connections.
I’m coming up on bonus time. My dad was 47 when he passed. I’ve just always wanted to make it the second half. Live, learn, love, laugh and I’m finally just now starting to figure all that stuff out.
I have the time to just focus on doing things better. Be a better husband, a better dad, maintain my health, improve financially, fine tune my career, be a better friend.
You tend to care less about what other people think- and not let the noise of others opinions drown out your inner voice and most important have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
Improved power of perception.
No pretending. You can just be yourself
Everything still bothers me. I just handle it better...move on and focus on controlling what I can control
I've started giving more and expecting less
I have the conversations I want rather than engaging in the interactions I don’t care for.
I'm healthier and have more energy than I ever have.
I spend a lot less time on my hair
What do you think?
You have any others?
Let me know.
Just don't call to complain.